One of our children hid under the table the other morning and threw her shoes and socks at us. No words, just grunts and whines.
“I’m guessing you’re a little frustrated,” I said, as my husband, Jay, pulled her out, kicking and flailing. Connected parenting, connected parenting, connected parenting my mind shouted at me. I attempted. I asked for eye contact, cradled her like a baby, talked about the “big feelings” and how to handle them next time.
But later on, I lamented to Jay that I had probably handled it all wrong. It’s hard work to change one’s parenting style from more traditional to this connected style necessary for kids from hard places. Maybe demanding eye contact wasn’t all that connected. Maybe I should’ve just gone to her, under the table even.
“Hey, we are learning at least,” he said.
“Yeah, I guess,” I muttered, “and at this rate, maybe we’ll at least be helpful grandparents.”
Because, as it turns out, parenting is tough. [Read more…]